The difference between what you want; and what you are made to think you want

Recently I came across an article that made me realize how some groups of people are relatively less stressed out and more content even with their not-so-fast and not-so-fashionable lives, and lead a satisfied life. But people like this are getting rarer by the day. No one is pausing for a moment these days. No one has the time to. No one is peaceful, thanks to 'stress'. Where does this stress come from? I pondered over it, and concluded that it's undoubtedly related to our environment and the society we associate ourselves with, but it's also significantly affected by our personal choices and character.

If you ask me, I will say the fast pace that we all go so crazy about is a made up one, or at least it's a bit over-hyped. If you want to live a balanced satisfied life, you can do so. What stops you then? Marketing. Yeah, that's true. See corporations are always on the lookout for dissatisfied customers. That's their thing. Otherwise who shall they feed on? But what happens if the customers are all satisfied with their lives? That never happens for real, else the human race and the world won't progress at all. Not being satisfied is a virtue, but only in the directions that are productive as a whole. So some consumers are always looking for something better. But this is not enough to drive crazy-ass profits. So what do the companies do? They increase this level. They increase the number of dissatisfied customers, and they increase their degree of dissatisfaction.

Now some of you might say no one can convince you to dislike something you like, but believe me, they can. The herd mentality of humans helps in this regard. The early dissatisfaction becomes a wave, and sweeps most of the customers before the next wave starts. The sad part, is, though, that the waves are getting more frequent. So your question is how do they achieve this? Simple, if you have X, convince you that Y is far far better than that, when it might just be a tiny bit better. Secondly, if you don't own a thing, convince you that you should. And the our status symbol and 'fashion' flares it up. Not having a product is looked as belonging to a lower lifestyle, and people would often feel sad that you don't have it. No one thinks you don't need it. Now it might be genuinely a reason that you want it and don't have a budget. But in the case where you have the budget and gave in to it just because you thought everyone else had it even though you didn't actually know what to do with it, that's when you made the wrong choice.

See I will tell you about this high lifestyle-low lifestyle thing. I don't think we should long for an extraordinary above-everyone-else lifestyle. There should not be any competition when its comes to lifestyle. Most importantly, it should be about preferences. It should be- He wants X, I want Y, so he has X, I have Y. But what happens mostly is He has X, so I 'have to ' have an X or X'(upgraded X :)). We should focus on what we really want. I am not saying suppress your wants. But don't get bombarded by all that is outside and start spending money. Analyse whether it would make a very significant difference to the quality of your life, your happiness. If yes, well and good, otherwise, forget it. We don't need a higher lifestyle, we need a content lifestyle, that still depends on others' choices, but very less and in a productive manner.

Companies hunt on customer psychology more than anyone. They make you feel insecure and disadvantaged, and then show you the 'solution'. It's important to re-evaluate for yourself before every decision you take. Fooling you is their job, they will get paid for it, but you will only lose money when you get fooled. And believe me, no amount of social status earned by buying and showing off shit is gonna make you happy in the long run if you yourself don't like it as much. Even liking something is not enough to buy something, an upgraded product will mostly be better to the previous product. But does it make that much of a difference as for you to dump the previous one? That's what you need to ask.

And it's because these 'waves' only that our lives are getting more stressful. We are made to think that we are more dissatisfied than ever, hungrier than ever. New services are coming up every day, and everyone thinks they should suck up on it. Let me tell you one thing, even if something is free, don't go for that service unless you feel it really has a positive impact on your life. Because, even if you don't have to pay for it, by changing your lifestyle according to it, you are making yourself vulnerable to and ready for a whole new range of 'waves'. Being content helps, and lets you live a more satisfied life. Do you know that many rich billionaires don't spend as much on personal needs? You know why? Because they know the difference between what they want and remain weary of others trying to spoon-feed shit to them. You want to be dissatisfied, fine; be hungry for knowledge, for information that creates a better living space for everyone. Go refine your hobbies and be a pro. Invest time in developing yourself, you will never feel more satisfied. Help your contributions bring out a positive change in this world. A lot needs to be done, and it is people like you who will do that. Not by 'getting confused over what to buy', but by buying stuff that helps in the purpose of their life. I am not saying kill your desires, but nurture them in the right direction.

I see people getting all stressed on what latest services and gadgets they should get, and after some months, they are again turning over the internet in search for a better product. Let me tell you, when you really need something, your brain will not take long to zero in on it. No one needs to show and convince you that you need a better product. When you need one really, you will feel like it yourself. Then go search for it and get it. Keep a threshold or 'want index'. It's good generally to remain informed on what new products are flooding the market, so that it helps you out to channelise your search when you need something. And buy something only after evaluation, only after it crosses your personal 'want index', and only if it will make a good enough positive contribution to your life.

Many great men said-learn to be content. It's a great thing. Everyone knows we need a content life but still everyone keeps running where the latest fad points to. Stop this herd mentality. Be aware of your individuality, your life, your goals and your wants. How can we ever be content if we are always stressed with a million responsibilities in our mind? Don't complicate your life more than it needs to be. Focus nicely on a few things rather than running around all available things. Be clever enough to realize the intentions behind every new fad or service. Be simple, be clear in your mind. There are a lot of fools out there, you don't need to be one of them.

Now you might feel- Oh it's so simple. Believe me, the idea is simple and powerful enough, the implementation is not.

Don't rush for money, rush for life.

Money. It's an entity that relates very closely to our lives. There are many people out there, who think that money is the ultimate aim. If you have money, you can have almost everything. At least when it comes to buying power. And it's true. In today's world, even fame can be bought by paying the right amount. Then how do we define the delicate interface with our needs on one side and lucrative buying power of money on the other?
I think many people out there have a vague sense of what they want. We, in the first place, do not want money in itself. We want to get something using that money. Money, by itself, has just one purpose. Giving us a sense of security that we have some definite amount of wealth reserved for ourselves that would sustain our needs in future. But of course, we are complex beings. And it's not about basic needs any more. We want the latest services, the latest gadgets, we want to think about saving time before actually investing time. But in this race to get what you want, please are you losing track of what you truly want?

The correct procedure would have been: You enjoy life at a moderate pace, think for yourself, and decide what you want. And then start thinking about saving the amount of money needed to avail that service while still saving enough for your regular life. But I have seen most people going the other way round. They invest minimal time in analysing whether they really want something or not. They start amassing money, investing more and more time in the money-making phase, and lesser in thinking what they would do with it. And then they get driven by the needs of others around them. The usual thought-let's have the money first. Money will get me everything. When I have enough in my account I will buy 'whatever I need'. And this goes on and on. Money by itself makes you greedy. Your account gives you a number, and as long as you see that number getting bigger, you don't care. Well, you should. Because that 'I will buy whatever I need' is a very grey area. People make enough money, but by now they are used to a lifestyle where money-making becomes the topmost priority. So they start buying shit. Anything that appeals a little and that they can get their hands on. Bring in everything latest, everything fashionable. What the fuck, I have the money man. Bring it on. Wait. Pause for sometime. Do you really think you need that? If you are not giving enough time to prioritise what you want, you are just wasting the money that you care so much about.

Let's think in terms of two photographers. Both loved photography equally and started out with similarly graded equipments. But the first one gave more time to it during the initial phase of his life. He refined his core concepts, and did not worry much about anything else. In spite of his job, he found time for his hobby. Now he does not have the best professional gadgets, but he has the journey of a lifetime that satisfies him and brings a smile on his face every time he looks at a shot. That moment comes rushing back to his mind. His photographs are much better in terms of quality considering his gear.

The second photographer always complained about lack of money and that he could not buy the best gear in the market. He did not pause to get the best out of what he had. He devoted his life to making huge amounts of money, but due to this, could not devote much time in learning and improving upon his photography. Recently he bought a 600 mm prime lens, and along with that a truckload of other expensive equipments that he thought would take him to the front-line of professionals. After using it for some time, he reflected back, and realised that he had not worked upon his hobby for so long. And now, even when he has the equipments he once fantasized about, he has the lost the hunger for creating art, and a big deal of time. His photographs are not in sync with his gear, and that keeps him dissatisfied. Here, I would consider the first guy as being better off. You can disagree, of course.

I am not saying don't make money. Make money, it's important. But after a certain level of financial security (the bare minimum that makes you feel safe and on firm ground), hack that greedy self that guides you to amass more and more wealth. Pause and look around. Think about where life's going. Think about what
could bring happiness in your life. Think what you are really passionate about. Then channelize and invest your hard-earned money accordingly. If you race your whole life thinking about making money, I feel your dream is very boring. You should have been a better dreamer. Neither are you respecting your own desires and your own self, nor the money that you are so crazy about.